Cold Inside
by chris-daae
Summary: Based on a prompt from tumblr: "You're cold on the inside!" Christine and Erik are having a fight.


_"You're cold on the inside!"_

The words were out before Christine could stop herself.

It was not like they came out of nowhere. It was the first time she said them out loud, and it was in the heat of the moment, but the idea had been in her mind for a while now. For as dramatic and sentimental Erik could be sometimes (many times - how often did he sob out loud about his fate?), at the same time Christine felt he had an ice cold heart.

The man had issues, deeper than she could have imagined two years ago when she first met him, or one year ago when she decided of her own free will to stay with him. Erik had offered to stay out of her life forever, after all the trouble he had caused, but Christine had fallen and hard for him. They started this relationship, on the condition that Erik was to respect her freedom and at least try to be a better person. On that surprisingly Christine had no complains. He was behaving well. There were no more mysterious incidents happening around, and he didn't make any more demands of her. As far as she knew he wasn't spying on her anymore either, if he did he was doing a good job of hiding it. She visited whenever she wished. She was not ready to think of marriage yet but their relationship could be described as a sort of courtship.

But in this time they have been together Christine realized that, while he could be a decent man when he tried, he was still very cold. He never had any comfort to offer when she needed. When they argued, he would keep stubborn on his point even if Christine was brought to tears. Even acts of affection were rare. It was like he was not moved by any feelings except his own.

For one moment after hearing Christine's words Erik seemed hurt, and Christine regretted saying them. But soon the hurt was replaced by anger, and he started shouting.

"Why don't you leave Erik already then? Erik is not begging you to stay!"

"I just may!" Christine shouted back in equal intensity. She was done with him for the day.

She got her coat and walked to the secret entrance, ready to leave.

"Christine, wait!"

Christine sighed and stopped her walk, but did not turn to him.

"You will come back, right?" He asked, voice now soft as velvet.

"I don't know, Erik." Christine replied. But she knew. She couldn't stay away from him for long, no matter how tiring it was to deal with him.

"If Erik begs, will you come back?"

Christine sighed as she turned back to him.

"I don't want you to beg."

"Then what do you want?"

 _A lot of things_ , she thought.

"Do you care about how I feel, or do you just want me to stay?" She asked, staring at his eyes.

"Both things." Erik lowered his gaze.

"I don't feel like you care." Christine whispered. "You are always cold to me. It's like you don't care."

"I can't help it." Erik replied.

Christine turned away again.

"I need some time."

Erik held her arm. Christine turned to him and he quickly let it go, his expression showing fear.

"Did I hurt you?"

At first Christine thought he was refering to her arm, but she realized he was talking about everything.

"A little." She replied truthfully.

"I don't want it to be like this, Christine. I don't want to be like this, but I can't help!"

Christine sighed, shaking her head.

"Teach me. Tell me what I am supposed to do." He continued. "I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to make you regret giving me a chance."

"It's alright, Erik."

"It's not. You are only saying it to be nice."

It was true. But Christine did not know what else to say. She was tired, the argument took away all her energy, and it seemed not worth it to continue if all Erik had to say was "I can't help it".

She turned again to leave, but Erik's voice stopped her.

"No one ever stayed with Erik for as long as you, Christine. He does not want to ruin it."

"I know, Erik." Christine replied. "But it's hard for me too. I really need some time alone."

"But you will come back, right?" He asked again.

Christine nodded.

"Erik promises he will try harder! To be good for you."

Christine gave a sad smile.

"I will see you in a few days." She said before walking away, the tears now falling freely.


End file.
